From Joan Skelly (Neisen)

Sorry it has taken me a while to write. When I first received an email from Ronda and saw in the subject, Mike's name my heart just fell. Mike and I had an off on relationship I remember in the earlier years playing touch football (ended up being more like tackle football).

I also remember Mike always being there for me. One time a classmate and I got into a fight. She sent a dog bone in the mail. So Mike and I decided we had to equally return the present and sent her a clipping from the newspaper for "dog grooming", Mike hand delivered it. Oh thoughts cat fights or should I say dog fights.

Another time Mike was there for me when I was babysitting some kids that had just moved into the neighborhood. There was a pretty ring on the kitchen counter and I thought I would try it on. The Father came home as I had the ring on my finger, I got scared and slipped it into my pocket in intension of returning it the next day. Well that ring happen to be a very special ring and the wife came over to my house to talk to my Mom. I was on the top of the steps listening to my sister defending me, I for sure didn't have the guts to admit to any one except Mike what had happened. Mike came up with a plan. He pretended to play football in their yard and put a little dirt on the ring, he went up to their door and said he had found it in their yard. He came over right after that and said "I think they bought the story". Needless to say I never got to babysit there again.

I was reading Neal Anderson's story about the tomatoes, I too was involved in that, we sat under the evergreen tree at your house on 6th and Atwood. By the way I think those tomatoes were from my Dad's garden.

Mike and I would watch the twilight zone at my house in the patio. I remember soon as I turned it on Mike was at my door. He even tried to kiss me, Mike was a good friend I didn't see him as a boyfriend and I think that hurt him. He stopped coming over to watch the Twilight Zone.

Once again we rekindled our friendship Mike hung out at my house again. It was Christmas time and my sister had just got home from work. She left her purse in the car which had a gift certificate she received from her job. After changing her clothes and was ready to go spend the certificate. She returned to her car and it was gone. She remember seeing Mike walking down the street when she first got home and thought maybe he took it. I kept on saying "Mike wouldn't do that". My Mom called over to Mike's house and he wasn't at home, he was out Christmas shopping.

Another "saving me" story, Mike was on Leave from the army and I was in a date. After going out for dinner we decided to go to Richards or Cheers (I can't remember what the name was at that time). Well the date wasn't going so well, Mike asked me how it was going and I told him the guy was a jerk, Mike didn’t like that and approached the guy, they ended up getting into an argument which ended up into a fist fight. Mike was a great fighter but this guy got one sucker punch and Mike went down. They got kicked out of the bar I didn't want to leave I wasn't sure what that guy would have done to me. The next day Mike came over I felt so bad, what a guy. That was the last time I saw him.

Mike had sent me a long letter when he was in the army, with a bunch of pictures. He had just returned from a outdoor concert. He said he had a blast, I'm sure he did Mike always made everything fun for everyone. He was a kind and adventurous guy, I miss him and every once in a while I think about the guy who always saved me.

I also remember after Mike's funeral I was down at Cheers I bumped into Scott Scheerhorn he said after people die they are forgotten. I assured him this wouldn’t be the case with me. Mike made a footprint on my heart, I think of him and the memories every time I pass your old house on 6th & Atwood.

Joan Skelly (Neisen)

From Sheri (Cronin) Lewis

I do have fond memories of Mike from our days at Central Elementary - such fun and carefree years! Mike and I were in the same class three years in a row! I remember a photo I had taken of Mike and Neal Anderson at Memorial Park during a class outing. If I come across it, I'll have to pass it on.

Most of my memories of Mike are of a competitive nature - trying to beat each other at one thing or another. We picked on each other a lot, and I remember he and I getting scolded by our teacher for calling each other names on the playground one day. There was also a time when our religion class was together and we were all gathered around the altar at St Mark's reciting some prayers as a group and I started saying the wrong words to the prayer. Mike made sure I knew he had heard what I had done and he gave me a hard time about it (in a fun way!).

When I heard the news of Mike's accident, it was very shocking and upsetting. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to attend the wake, but didn't want to go alone. My sister-in-law arranged for her sister to go with me so I didn't miss it.

From Ron Carlson

Ron was Mike's boxing coach and a Shakopee police officer when we were growing up. Ron started the local Golden Gloves boxing club.

What I still remember about Mike's boxing is that in one of his matches he stopped his opponent by throwing one jab only which is almost unheard of.

Ron

From Scott Scheerhoorn

What can I say, Mike was my best friend.

Mike lived with me and my family for about a year—his last year of high school. I loved him and my parents did too. They treated him just like a member of our family, and Mike was very respectful. We were like brothers and shared everything. We’d even share a tooth brush if we had to!

Mike was such a solid and real friend—very loyal. He wasn’t full of crap like a lot of other guys. We were both talkers and free spirits just wanting to have some fun. We let it all out, so we got along great from the beginning. Even as friends we’d get into some fights just for fun. It usually started out with one of us saying something like, “Who’s tougher here?” Then we’d all out and fight—punch, wrestle. No hurt feelings--just a couple of crazy guys. He was tough too! I was in boxing with him for a little while. He really looked up to Ron Carlson. Mike thought he was a great guy.

Some of our favorite things to do together were going to my parents’ cabin, water skiing, hanging out by the river, talking all night under the stars, just hanging out and having fun. We talked about everything, and we loved listening to music. Some of Mike’s favorite bands were Def Leppard, Tesla, and Led Zeppelin. Still to this day, I’ll hear music on the radio and think yeah, Mike would love this song. It’s crazy.

We’d have so much fun just hanging out together. One summer we lived out at my parents’ cabin near Annandale. Man was that fun!

Mike would write me 5-page letters when he was in the Army. He’d call me before he came home for a visit, and I’d pick him up from the airport. I’d let him take my brand new Thunderbird and my Ninja wherever he wanted. If it was mine, it was his to use.

Here is Scott's car that he let Mike use on his visits home, and the car in which Scott brought us (Chris, Mike and myself) to Dubuque one summer.

We had so much fun on our trip down to Hardie’s in Dubuque and on the Mississippi on his uncle’s boat. That trip stuck with me and is why I have a boat today!

I was totally blown away when I heard about Mike’s accident. I didn’t believe it until I saw him for myself. He was doing so well in the Army. He really had something to be proud of. I sat by his casket and cried for about 15 minutes, and I’m not the crying kind of guy. It was one of the biggest traumas in my life. I miss the guy.




Scott's kids

From Jeff Darby

Mike and I were in religion class and I had broken my arm several weeks before this, so I was sitting there with a cast up to my forearm. I had this horrible itch inside the cast and couldn’t get to it and if you’ve had cast on you know how irritating this can be. I took my pencil and started to reach inside and scratch when all of sudden I lost control of the pencil and it fell inside the cast. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed and of course Mike did, he was sitting there staring at me and laughing hysterically. After class, it took us two hours to remove the pencil from my cast using a pair of scissors Mike took from the classroom.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Another time a bunch of us decided to go horseback riding at Hanson’s Ranch, I cannot remember who all went along. But Mike didn’t have a very good ride. When the rest of the group would start to gallop, Mike’s horse would just take off in a full run, needless to say Mike was getting a little upset with his horse. When we finally arrived back at the stables, Mike got off the horse and started to complain to all of us about the ride he had just been taken on, when all of sudden the horse whipped his head back and bit Mike square in the ass. We all laughed hysterically, So I guess the horse didn’t care for Mike either.

Jeff is in the blue shirt on the right in this picture.

From Greg Ulibarri, Mike's Army Escort

Greg was the representative from the Army who escorted Mike's body back from Texas to Minnesota and stayed with us until the funeral was over. I can only imagine what a difficult job it would be to deliver a lifeless soldier to his family, but Greg certainly fit the bill--he was such a class act, he was professional yet personable, and we loved him for what he did for us. We never heard from Greg again...until last month when I finally tracked him down in Germany! Here's one of his messages...

I know already that you, Chris, your Mom and Dad were all wonderful to me during what I could only imagine was a difficult time. I was part of the Vulcan section where Mike worked. When the accident happened, I was selected to identify and escort him home. This was one of the most painful and memorable points in my career. I can truly say that I have often thought about Mike, his family and that trip to Minnesota. I spoke of him often to other troops and friends about how quickly life can be cut short.

I cannot recall specifics but I can tell you this, one thing I could do fairly well was read people. Mike was a very dynamic individual, he was personable, energetic and not afraid to learn and excel. All excellent traits for the Army. I could tell in a very short time that he would go very far in the Army. He was a natural leader and his enthusiasum was infectious. It was because of all these qualities he was in New Mexico. At the time the Army was testing the new modifications to the Vulcan. The Vulcan was being modified into the PIVADS system. In preparation for the modification we chose Mike to go to New Mexico and get training on the new system. The Army believes in a train the trainer environment so you see Mike was selected to be trained and then come back and train us. He was a Great Soldier. A Great American.

Take Care and God Bless,
Always
Greg

Here's a picture of Greg and his family including his parents, his wife, children and two grand children! Greg is the 4th one from the left.

From Neal Anderson

When Mike and I ran around together we were pretty young. We didn't get into to much trouble together. Normal kid stuff. We learned how to smoke together (Thanks to Chris). Guess I liked it cuz I still smoke today. We did jump a lot of trains but it was easier than walking accross town. Stole alot of tomatoes so we could throw them at cars. Let's just say we may have played around with other things at that time also. Early teen age, we then kind of went our own way. Still talked in school and stuff but that's when I started to really not want to follow the rules, and Mike was smart enough to stay away at the time. Then I moved over here to South Dakota and got my life back on track, and I didn't get to see him again.

From Tom Bjornberg

What a great memory you are creating of Mike. I read Randy's note and I
too share a lot of the same memories. Sleeping out in the tent, biking to
the pool, yes and even jumping trains downtown. We would jump them and
ride them out to my parents house. I also remember spending a lot of
time in the secret room above the garage, it seemed to be our little
hangout. It was usually Randy Johnson, Jeff Darby, Dave Helland and
myself. I remember climbing under the old river bridge, the rock fights
and how we used to harass certain kids on Halloween. Those memories will
be with me forever.

Take care.

From Erin O'Brien Denton

The reunion was a blast...good to see old friends - I had a great conversation with Sheri Cronin about how she, Mike and I used to love racing each other - the three of us were very competitive, even in 3rd grade...(See photo below.)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have very fond memories of Mike, and
it's such a shame to lose such a vibrant, dedicated man. Just know he
was sorely missed last weekend.

Erin is now a Hollywood fitness instructor who has made a number of fitness DVDs. Here's a link to her website. She's also married to James Denton who is on Desperate Housewives. The picture (above) is from a gig they had with their band called Band from TV.

Erin was also kind enough to find their third grade class picture and send it to me. Mike is in the middle of the front row behind the class sign. Sheri and Erin are in the middle row--Sheri is the 1st on on the left, and Erin is standing right next to her. This is the age they all raced each other!

 

A recent picture of Mike's classmates

This picture was taken at their 25th high school reunion last weekend.

Reunion Weekend

This weekend Mike's class is celebrating their 25th high school reunion. I checked out our high school website under "alumni" and looked at all of their festive plans here. I wonder if Mike would have gone to his 25th reunion. Where would he be living right now? Would he have lived too far away to attend? Would he have wanted to attend? Who knows?

Out of about 265 classmates, there are four who have died. Here's what is said on the site about Mike.

I looked at the name list of his classmates, and as little as I knew most of them I just recalled the times in which we lived and grew up in that small town in Minnesota. Much simpler times...

I've heard from a few of our old neighborhood friends, so I hope to have more stories to post soon. Wow, I realize I knew so little of what he did with his friends. It's fascinating for me to hear stories about all of the things he did growing up with them.

When I look at this picture of Mike on his banana seat bike(!), I think of the care-free Mike who so vibrantly and enthusiastically lived life. He was always ready for an adventure!

From Randy Johnson

Hello everyone, Randy Johnson here. I grew up with Mike, knew him since grade school and lived right across the street. I recently spoke with Jeff Darby and we talked about all the memories we had of Mike. We played baseball and football non-stop in the summer, we lived at the community pool in Shakopee, we would swim all day go home for dinner and go back to the pool! We camped out in a tent in my back yard so many times in the summer I can't count, we would stay up all night and run around all over town! We had it good! Those are some vivid memories for me as a kid. Mike, Jeff and myself lived very close to each other and spent our childhoods together. Jeff and I were talking of how we wish that we could have known Mike as closely in our adult lives, from what I’ve seen and read on his web site he was on the right path. Jeff and I have been to Mike's grave many times since his death to keep it clean and to sit and remember Mike, we will go visit him this summer again. Of course the cemetery where he is buried is just a few hundred yards from the Shakopee pool where we spent half of our childhood together! The last time I saw Mike alive is when us three were at Jeff's house when I was home on leave from the marine corps, I think Mike was on leave from the army as well. When I first heard of his death I thought for sure it was just rumor or some sort of army snafu. I wish it would have been. It will be good to sit and share all the memories of growing up with Mike and lots of other friends this weekend [25th high school reunion], all the snowball fights, fistfights, ballgames and a lot of things I’ve forgotten that others remember! God bless! Randy.

Another Entry: Mike's boot camp journal

3 OCT 83 (Monday)

Today was an exciting day. We got up at 0300. Everything was "Hurry up and wait" until the troop carriers came. Then we went to range 35. We went to qualify. I was really depressed after I shot my 40 rounds. I looked at my score card and had 19 misses. You are only allowed 17 or you don't qualify! What a trip! I get up to get my medal and find out I did qualify, but with 23 hits instead of 21. They must've given me a 2 hit break. I hesitantly thanked the Lord. I didn't feel as though I earned it.

When we got back to the barracks we cleaned our rifles then went to get my 4th hair cut. In the meantime after getting my hair cut I went to the PX and snack bar and found a letter, one my favorite letters, had been overlooked. I picked it up and read it. It was from my Aunt Kay Hardie. Never have I been complimented so much in a letter before. I also feel as though I know a whole different Kay Hardie.

I'm keeping it in the back of my jounal for use when I feel depressed. I know it will help. Read it. My tear jerker...
Click on the letter for a larger view.

This 3-page letter is still in the back of his Army boot camp journal. Thanks, Kay! It sure meant a lot to Mike. In the letter, it talked about some difficult times she had been going through, and it states:

I remember you for being such a loving--open and demonstrative--person. What an asset you have! ...and I continue to remember you and your loving ability, Mike. You serve as an example, an inspiration, to me.

Here's the hand-written letter as it was found in the back on his journal.

From Dad...about boxing

Here's what Dad had to say about the Golden Gloves boxing group Mike was involved with, and about Ron Carlson, the boxing organizer and local police officer. Dad was the assistant Golden Gloves boxing coach.

Ron Carlson had the concept that kids could do something productive if given a chance or just wander aimlessly into all sorts of things with few coping skills and lots of energy; and, for adolescent boys, lots of testosterone. He'd met lots of the kids (not all) that joined the boxing program from being "a cop" in the town. Instead of being a problem to them as a cop he decided to be a mentor for them as a person who happens to be a cop. He was just that sort of guy: when given lemons, make lemonade. Anyway, he saw the need and did the leg work for initiating the Golden Gloves program in the area through the association with the police department. He took the time, made all the connections and put it together largely on his own time. He had boxed in the Marine Corps. I had boxed at the Boy's Club in Dubuque. It was something we'd both done as an activity, mostly, not as Golden Gloves boxers.

I met Ron through several channels. He was, as most cops were, in the ER at the hospital frequently. He had an association with Bob Christensen [a local M.D. and Dad's friend] and we eventually got together having conversations about things in general, at all hours of the day and night. He asked me if I'd be interested in helping out. I said yes and there we were. He found a couple of other guys to help, one of which had actual Golden Gloves experience, and Ron was all set.

The Boundary Waters trip was sort of a retreat for the kids, or a treat for all their hard work. It helped build team unity. Also, it happened to be one of Ron's favorite things to do. It was an event for the kids to look forward to at the end of the year. Ron needed a helper for that as well, and I reluctantly helped because Mike became interested.

I'm not sure of the years Mike boxed. That trophy though was for that match, for that event, for that weight class, but among a number of GG Clubs participating and I think there were 5 clubs Dubuque included.

Mike did very well mostly because he kept his focus and kept his cool in adverse situations in general. It's very easy to lose both when some one is intent on punching you. I takes a bit of getting used to.

Love,
Dad

About Mike's boxing

Like I've said, I never liked to watch Mike fight in the boxing ring--especially after one of his boxing matches he had in our high school gymnasium. Something went wrong with his head gear (Is that what boxers call it?!), and it was twisting and moving all over the place on him while he was boxing. He could barely see at times, and I was getting upset because the ref didn't stop the fight to let him readjust it, or tighten it...or WHATEVER it needed. It's not like he could have fixed it on the fly...with his gloves on! Ugh, I can still see myself in the bleachers--looking up at Mike in the ring for a fraction of a second, "Oooh!" then looking down and having my friends give me a play-by-play. "Isn't the ref stopping them to let him FIX IT?!" Oh, I couldn't stand it (so I crouched down in the bleachers instead)!

Mike is the one in the red jersey.

I still don't like to watch ANYONE box. Boxing was, however, something Mike took up for a while, and he did fairly well at it. So, I'm sure he had a sense of accomplishment when he won matches and this trophy.




Here's a newspaper clipping that we still have.
A bit closer to read...

This is the group of Golden Gloves boxers on a Boundary Waters canoeing and camping trip. (Most of these boxers are named in the larger news clipping above.) Mike kept this picture in the back of his Army boot camp journal.

Mike is on the far right in back.

Tear Drops

I never want to forget Mike's most unique physical feature. In fact, I can't believe I hadn't scoured every picture I have of Mike to look for his signature "teardrop earlobes" until now.

I was going through some of Mike's papers and found a letter written by his aunt and godmother, Mary (a.k.a. Aunt Mayno), and in the letter it reminded me of his special lobes everyone made such a big fuss about all his life! It said...

There's a young fellow I know, an extremely earnest individual, blessed with handsome features, good humor, a sense of adventure, an emotional streak, a loving heart and a soul of gold. It's as plain to see as the tear-dropped shaped earlobes he was born with...

I'm convinced that my godson is my godsend.

The best picture I have of his earlobes is his high school graduation photo. Here it is before I zoom in...
Here is a closer look.

Check it out.
Since this picture doesn't show it fully, you really would have had to see them in person...and then you would be left with the real memory of his tear drops.

From Mom-- Memories of Mike: Early Years in Minnesota

Mike was always coming up with some great (???) ideas. When we lived by Lake Calhoun in the Twin Cities, I babysat two other children. One day I heard a lot of laughing in the basement where the kids played during the winter. I went downstairs and found a cloud of dust coming from a corner. In the middle of the cloud were two barely visible faces. Mike and Kimmy (one of the kids I babysat) decided that it would be great fun throwing cement around and playing in it. Honestly, it took FOREVER to get the cement out of their hair and everyplace else it decided to settle. Cleaning up the basement was no picnic either.

Our first Halloween in the Twin Cities was a memorable one. Mike was so excited. When the doorbell rang the very first time, he went running to the door to see who was there. Oh my goodness. He screamed bloody murder. There was a young boy (in his teens, I think) wearing a gorilla like mask. He had a furry winter jacket on. I think the combination was too much for Mike. I had to carry him the whole time we were trick or treating. He was afraid of everything that night.

When we lived on Fremont Ave. in Bloomington, MN, we belonged to St Richards Parish. They were having a parish festival and Kay thought we should take the kids to it. Mike tried this one game – throwing a ball to knock down something or other – and kept missing. After each attempt, with his right hand in a fist and his left hand open, he’d ram his right fist into his left hand, no sound other than that. He was determined to win. And he did, eventually. Couldn’t tell you how many tries, but it was a lot.

The event that produced the two black eyes and huge knob on his forehead happened in usual Mike fashion. It was in November and we were going to the park and Mike was very excited to get there. Once there, he had his sights set on the swings and slide. He took off and ran down the hill straight for the play area. He never saw the rock that tripped him because he was focused further ahead. Oh, that big black knob was ugly. No Christmas card that year.

From Cousin Dianne

I do think of Mike all of the time and remember him in my prayers each day. Sometimes we might feel like our loved ones have been forgotten but I' m sure they are not. Not much of a story but I do remember when Mike was in that treatment facility and I called him just to say hello. I said this is your aunt Dianne and he said aren't we cousins? I felt like an idiot but I guess I felt old enough to be his aunt. We had a laugh about that.

From Mom: a daily reminder of Mike

This I look at EVERY day and think of Mike. It stands on the counter in my kitchen holding some kitchen utensils. He obviously got it in Germany.
Close up of the German stein.

From Mom: Memories of Mike in Dubuque

Mom has come out of hiding and has some stories to tell!

Before we moved to the Twin Cities, we lived in an apartment on Asbury in Dubuque. I remember one morning, when Mike was a little over a year old. We got up on Saturday morning and Mike was nowhere to be found. We searched everywhere in the apartment (didn’t take too long since we only had 4 rooms). We even went to other apartments and outside looking for him. Chris (who was 3 years old) woke up when Mike did, but didn’t know where he was. We were on the verge of calling the police when I decided to search everywhere within the apartment again. You won’t believe where I found Mike. He was sound asleep on top of his dad’s guitar case which was under our bed.

Another time on Asbury, I was in the living room and realized it was pretty quiet in the boys’ room. Went to check and found them in our bedroom. Mike was standing in front of our dresser staring into the mirror and admiring his handiwork - all over his face. Yes, you guessed it – lipstick all over. The look on his face was priceless.

Pieces of Mike

Even after more than 20 years of Mike's passing, I'm reminded of him daily--sometimes in thoughts and other times just in the handful of his belongings I now have and still use today. Besides many of his photos, military awards, personal journal, wallet (that he had on him in the last moments of his life), and other writings and letters that I keep in a box, I have a few other things of his that catch my eye every day as I pass by them.

Mike made this mug in Great Uncle Bill's basement in 1971 during our annual Thanksgiving visit to Dubuque. Great Uncle Bill had his own pottery wheel and kiln, and he had us sit in front of him as he helped us shape our various creations at the wheel. Then we decorated them by making impressions with various items (nails, etc.) I'm not sure where this mug was in our house in Shakopee, but it must've been in a more honorable place than where Mom put my silly vase with a neck that was too narrow to fit anything but a few skimpy dried flowers. She put my vase on the back of our downstairs toilet! I now see this mug every day as it sits on my bedroom bookshelf holding back a few books.

This step stool Mike made in junior high wood shop has come in pretty handy--especially over the past 9 years since we've had kids. Jimmer still likes a bit of a boost at the sink, so it's been put to good use! It'll probably go in my closet next!

Would you believe the T.V. Mike bought in Germany ('84-'86) is still working well? Granted we're not big T.V. watchers, but all the better since I can still use it today! I used it as my main T.V. until I got married in 1996! A good buy, Mike!

As I mentioned at the end of the "Some pictures..." post, I also still have Mike's jacket he had made in Germany and wore frequently. I used to wear it occasionally, but some of the material is getting thin, so I have it in my closet on a hanger under a sweater I wear to church.

I'm sure Mom, Chris and Dad also have similar reminders of Mike in their homes.

An Entry from Mike's Boot Camp Journal

Mike was 18 years old while he was at Ft. Dix, New Jersey for boot camp. Below is an entry from his personal journal. I believe this was his first pay day at the Army.

30 SEPT 83

Today was pay day!!! I collected $561. It feels great to have all that in my pocket.

After we got our checks cashed we went to range 34 to practice firing. Range 34 is just like Range 35, the range we qualify on. We got 40 rounds to fire. We had to make at least 23, I shot 40 rounds & 30 targets went down. I qualified today as a sharpshooter. I hope to get at least Expert, that's 36 out of 40 or more.

While we were there it rained. It really sucked. I hope on Monday that the sun is shining. I got soaked today and sand all over.

Had C-rations again: pork slices, apricot halves, p-butter & cocoa. It was just as gross as it sounds, & it sounds bad!

We got back & cleaned our rifles. I think mine is the cleanest it's ever been. Now I'm ready for a shower & hit the sack...

Below is his actual written journal entry. If you click on the image, you should be able to view it in a larger format.

From Aunt Mary ("Mayno")

Memories of Mike

Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s when the world was less foreboding, kids could walk to and from school alone with little worry.

Walking to school in winter, however -- in the snow, snow, snow and cold, cold, cold of Minnesota -- could be challenging, as Mike learned one frosty afternoon on his way home from kindergarten.

I was visiting my sisters, Kay and Carolyn, Mike’s mom, in Bloomington -- on my way from college in California to home in Iowa to spend the holidays. That day I was at the Cox apartment eagerly waiting for Chris and Mike to get home from school. When Mike didn’t show at the expected time, Carolyn sent out the troops to look for him. I can’t recall who found him – Chris perhaps – stuck in a snow bank a few blocks away. Apparently the snow plow had piled the snow high along the curb and when Mike walked across the top of the snow bank, he sunk in – so far that he couldn’t get out! While in the snow bank trying to dig himself out, he discovered a treasure that he immediately gifted to me upon his safe return home.


I wore the pin every day that I was there. If I forgot to put it on, Mike reminded me. I still have it. While it cost the person who lost it in the snow bank pennies at most, it is priceless to me for the sweetest memories it brings.

Of course, we hugged and fawned over Mike (which he loved!) the rest of that afternoon. Talking about “being lost” and then “being found” seemed to energize him, in fact! Later I asked him if he was scared while trapped in the snow. His eyes lit up. “Why would I be scared?” he said in his high-pitched little boy voice. For Mike, life was an adventure!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When Chris and Mike were toddlers they still lived in Dubuque. For whatever reason, there were some Sunday mornings they were at the Hardie house . . . and I would take them to church with me.

I LOVED taking them to church because I thought everyone there would think they were mine! (I was 16 or 17 at the time.) They were pretty cute with their curly heads and sweet smiles. What’s more, they were fairly well-behaved. (Hard to believe, I know, because later they so enjoyed getting on each other’s nerves!) Instead of picture books, crayons and treats that nowadays keep kids entertained while in church, Chris and Mike had none. It never dawned on me, I guess, to bring such things along. They seemed content perusing the songbooks and prayer books they found in the pew (pretty boring with only words and no pictures to look at). When that lost favor, they’d whisper to each other or just sit back and look around, captivating those nearby. I know this because more than once after church someone or other – usually older ladies – would stop and tell me, “What lovely little boys!”

Some of my happiest moments in life were being with my two nephews when they were young!

From Mikey--the nephew you never met

Dear Uncle Mike,

I've heard a lot of stories about you and that I was named after you. I think it's cool that you were a soldier. I love to draw military vehicles and dress up like a soldier.

I bet we'd have fun playing together--especially if you were here with Uncle Chris. He has fun with us too. Once he put all us kids in a big box and rolled it all around the living room. We called it the "tornado box." It was fun!

Mom says you liked to build and fix things. I like to do those things too. I have lots of things to build with, and we could've built lots of neat structures together.

Love,
Mikey (9)

From Kathleen--the niece you never met

Dear Uncle Mike,

I wish I could have met you. I think I'd like wrestling with you because I have fun wrestling with my brothers.

I love the picture of you on Santa's lap with your two black eyes and knob on your head!

You remind me of Jimmer, my little brother, because he looks like you and it seems like he acts like you did when you were little--mischievous and got into some accidents. Jimmer has also been to the E.R. a few times! Great Grandpa Hardie told Mom he'd send his guardian angel down to our house after he died because all little boys could use an extra guardian angel. I hope it helps!

Thank you for defending our country even though you didn't have to go to war.

Love,
Kathleen (9)

From Mary Kate--the niece you never met

Dear Uncle Mike,

It seems like you and my little brother, Jimmer, are a lot alike. He likes to have a lot of fun and roughhouse like you did!

My brothers like to wrestle and they really like Army stuff, so I think they'd love to wrestle with you and learn about soldiers. Last year both of them dressed up as Army guys for Halloween.

I hope you like it in Heaven!

Love,
Mary Kate (7)

From Jimmer--the nephew you never met

Dear Uncle Mike,

I like wrestling with my brother and sister, but Mary Kate had a tumor so we couldn't wrestle with her after her surgery for a little while.

I like my daddy and mommy because we snuggle, and I have a pet Chimpanzee [stuffed].

I just made a monkey book this week.

I bet you'd be a fun uncle to play with. You look pretty fun in the pictures!

Love,
Jimmer (5)

Growing up with Mike...

I've often thought about what it was like growing up with Mike. I've told people some of my stories about what my brothers did and what they put me through! Not knowing otherwise at the time, I figured everyone else had a similar fate...if they had two older brothers. I'm now certain that I had it pretty rough as a little sister! Right, Chris?!

First of all, Chris was the mastermind behind many of the shenanigans. Somehow, he was able to talk us into doing things that he wondered about, but would never do himself.

Chris was the one who talked Mike into climbing into Grandma and Grandpa Hardie's laundry shoot on the second floor of their home in Dubuque. A little commotion among the adults was raised when Mike got stuck in the shoot between their 1st and 2nd floors. He couldn't get out! And there was Chris standing at the top of the shoot.

Chris also talked Mike into climbing (fully) into our dryer. I think he said something like, "I bet you could never fit into the dryer, but it would be cool if you could." After Mike was up to the challenge and climbed in, I heard the door slam and the dryer turn on. Thump, thump went Mike...at least a couple of times!

And Chris, how did Mike ever get locked into our deep freezer chest in the basement?

I didn't escape their torment...
Both Chris and Mike talked me into thinking it would be LOTS of fun to slide down the stairs in a sleeping bag. After they conned me into getting zipped in my bag, they picked me up and THREW me down. Does anyone recall that there was a wall at the end of our stairway?

They also thought it would be fun to teach me to box. They, of course, said none of it would hurt since we had those really padded boxing gloves. What was I thinking? Hadn't I learned?

Of course, around every corner in our house lurked a potential ambush or terror just waiting to happen. Unfortunately once, when Mike figured I'D be coming around the corner to our stairway, it was instead MY DAD! After sufficiently "surprising" my dad, Mike got to see what it was like to fly up the stairs!

I guess I don't need to go on and on with more stories. You get the point!

What I will say is that Mike also had a very tender, loyal, and generous side to him. I know this because I caught him bragging about me a few times. I remember when he was in 6th grade (I was in 4th), he told our school music teacher about how well I played the piano. He mentioned that I could play the whole song (Colour My World, by: Chicago) their class was learning for their recital...and offered my services to accompany their class in singing as well! He gave compliments freely and made people feel good.

Mike was very excitable and loved to socialize. He was energized by people...his friends. He must've had lots of Grandpa Hardie genes in him!

That's the Mike I grew up with.

From Aunt Connie

Laura,

What a wonderful gesture to remember Mike in such a special way! You have put together some beautiful memories of a terrific young man.

Although Mike was only with us for just under a year, he became part of our family. At least that's how we felt about him...I'm not sure he allowed himself to feel fully a part of any "community" at that point in his life. I do believe, however, that that's exactly what happened when he joined the service. He was indeed part of his military family. He accomplished mastery of all his assignments, and received positive feedback about his accomplishments, and - most importantly - he believed he was competent, and that he was contributing to a greater good.

As Courtney mentioned, I was pregnant with her when Mike lived with us. Kelly was 4-1/2, and enjoyed every speck of attention Mike gave her. And Mike, who had a natural affinity for kids, never seemed "bored" or "too old" to "bother" with Kelly. Kelly missed him dearly when he moved back to Shakopee. (She would have rather had Mike around than that new "interloper" baby, Courtney! Just kidding, girls...sort of!)

While Mike was with us, Steve had an OAAA meeting at the Grand Hotel in Mackinaw Island, MI. This is a beautiful island off the upper pennisula of Michigan where the movie "Somewhere in Time" with Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve was filmed. The island does not allow any motorized transportation, so once you arrive by ferry it's bicycle or horse drawn carriage. I think it was a great vacation for Mike, because we could really let him explore the island on his own...the fudge factories downtown, the "beaches" all around the island, and the pretty, green bike trails and walking paths throughout. He could also check out the girls at the pool! (He was able to get a break from us that week, as long as he showed up for meals and bedtime.)

One day at Mackinaw, Steve was in meetings all day, and I decided to take Kelly on a bike ride around the island. (Keep in mind I'm showingly pregnant with Courtney.) The bikes were the old fashioned, wide-tire, "no speed", heavy bikes. The hotel gave me a box lunch and blanket to take with us which went into the basket on the front of the bike. (Get the picture? Full basket, heavy bike with no gears, pregnant "belly", big momma, Kelly in a bike seat on the back, many steep Mackinaw hills, hot and humid late summer.) I was doing fine at first, but "we" decided to stop for lunch (read rest) a little earlier than planned. We found a nice spot and enjoyed a nice lunch. As I was reloading Kelly on the bike to continue, Mike drove by on his bike. I was so glad to see him (an excuse to rest longer!). He sensed that the bike ride was a little easier for him than for me and OFFERED to switch bikes for the remainder of the ride. So, he drove Kelly and the lunch basket back, and I rode the unencumbered bike back. It was a much easier ride for me, and Kelly enjoyed having Mike drive her, and it may have saved some premature labor! The point is, I didn't have to ask. Mike sensed what I needed, offered the perfect solution, and his generous spirit intervened.

Mike had Sophomore year classes to make up that summer in order to enter Wahlert in the Fall as a Junior. He worked hard in summer school with a full load, completed everything, and did very well. He had all the credits he needed to begin as a Junior, and he took a full load at Wahlert. Again he did well in school. Parent-Teacher Conferences were uneventful. The teachers said his work was in, up-to-date, and that he was a pleasure to have in class. Some classes were definitely more difficult for him than others, but he did well. He made a really nice three level stand (curio stand or bookshelf) in wood shop that we still have and use. Mr. Sheston, his shop teacher, was a big fan of Mike and his abilities in the shop. He also got kudos for his creative writing in his English class, and he did well in (tough) Mr. Delaney's history class, and he enjoyed religion class. I think he ended up in a class or two that were a stretch for him because of his "lost" Sophomore year. Summer classes, though full credit, aren't quite the same in content. So I think the Advanced Algebra and Physics were a burden. (He actually was very good at mastering the physics concepts, but didn't have enough math to do well in tests and build on the base learnings.) I can't recall if we were able to switch him out of physics to another elective, or if he stuck it out. What I know for sure is that he did well.

As Courtney said, one of my pregnancy "glitches" was an aversion to the smell of bread. I could not open the bread bag without gagging. At first, I would make Mike's lunches by holding my breath, leaving the room to breathe, then holding it again to continue. Then Mike and I collaborated...he would make his sandwich and wrap it in a baggie, and I would pull the rest together. (Usual lunch: PBJ sandwich, Twinkie or SuzyQ, Doritos or Fritos or Chips, apple or banana.) If Grandma Hardie had baked - and she did often for Mike - there were Scotcheroos(instead of the Twinkie). Scotcheroos were hands down Mike's favorite snack, and they became a favorite of my kids, too. I have made hundreds of pans of Scotcheroos for soccer, football, volleyball, and basketball games thru the kids' HS years.

A favorite meal of Mike's was Pork Chops baked in Golden Mushroom soup, with a baked potato (with the GM soup as "gravy"), corn, and baked applesauce with cinnamon. We had this meal at least once a week. I would occasionally substitute chicken for the pork, but Mike preferred the pork. Of course, Grandma Hardie would invite us over for dinner once a week - usually Sunday - for a truly good meal. Mike always enjoyed her cooking, and she varied her menu more than I did.

It was pretty exciting for all of us, of course, when Courtney was born. (January 15, 1982). Mike came up to the hospital with Steve and Kelly to visit Courtney and me, and was a really big help with Kelly during that time. She needed the extra attention he could give her when I couldn't. He would often hold and rock Courtney when I was fixing dinner or doing laundry in the evening. He really enjoyed that, and so did she! I would say that the only negative about Mike being with us during that particular time, was that I felt a little less comfortable about nursing. I felt that I couldn't nurse Courtney in the LR, family room, or at the table. I felt I needed to seek the privacy of her bedroom or our bedroom. After all, nursing then was not as accepted or universal as it is now, and Mike was a teenage boy, not our son, who did not grow up with us.

When Mike was stationed in Germany, he called on Courtney's birthday to talk to all of us, and wish her Happy B'day. She would have been two or three. (He didn't forget her birthday!) He sounded so happy. He was proud of himself. He was being promoted and being given greater responsibilities. He was successful, and able to acknowledge that to others, but most importantly, to himself.

Mike had a favorite white t-shirt...just a plain white undershirt. It must have been 10 years old...it was perspiration stained, and threadbare, and had holes in it. But it was SOFT! I asked him if I could replace it..I'd get him a pack of new ones. That was a definite "NO!" If he worked in the yard he wore it. He wore it to bed. He wore it under shirts and sweaters. I washed it about once a week, and I was getting worried because it was beginning to shred. I was preparing him for the worst as I held up a shapeless mesh one day to show him. He wore it until it was literally a web of strings. Then he kept it in a ball under his pillow...a security blanket of sorts.

Mike was tough but vulnerable; he was as docile as a bunny and as firey as a momma bear; he was smart and quick-witted but could play dumb like a pro ("Who? Me?!"). One of the qualities I loved the most about Mike was his generous spirit. He was unselfish and giving. He was eager to jump in and help. He was quick to console with tender words or humor (whatever was called for!). He was easy to love.

Good work, little sis.

Love, Connie

Here's a photo of Mike when he lived with Connie, Steve, Kelly, and Courtney (still on the inside).

The Accident

In a letter from Mike's commander of the 118th Ordnance Detachment stationed in Ft. Bliss, Texas sent in October, 1987:

"...Mike was a member of the Maintenance Platoon, and had been working temporarily for the Air Defense Board on a Special Project. He was traveling south on highway 54 approximately 4 miles north of Carrizozo, New Mexico, when he lost control of his car and skidded off the road. He was killed almost instantly. I sincerely hope that the knowledge that he was not subjected to any prolonged suffering will be of some comfort to you..."

From what Mike's Army escort, Greg Ulibarri, told us, Mike was driving with a friend in his car on Highway 54 and hit a pot hole in the road, lost control and flipped over in the ditch. Both Mike and his passenger were unrestrained, ejected through the windshield, and landed in the ditch where they both instantly lost their lives. They were found by a passing truck driver. The additional misfortune was that the passenger's wife (who was not in the car) was expecting a child.

From Cousin Courtney (Hardie) Johnson

Unfortunately, I really don't remember Mike. My mom was pregnant with me and had me while he was living with us. I do know that Mike ended up having to make his own lunches after awhile (funny, I never remember my mom making my lunches, and yet she was so eager to do so for him!) because my mom felt sick from the smell of Wonder Bread when she was pregnant with me! My mom always told me that he was pretty smitten with both Kelly and I, and that he really enjoyed playing with Kelly and holding me.

From Ronda (Darby) Dessin

Ronda was one of our neighborhood friends as well as one of Mike's classmates. She and her brother, Jeff, were probably the first friends Mike brought home for us to meet when we first moved to Shakopee. Like I've mentioned in his story, Mike made friends for us. Ronda and Jeff were always called into play for our neighborhood games of kick-the-can, football, Annie Annie over...!

I would like to add a comment about the prankster, Michael

My Memory

It was Halloween, I can't even remember the year. I was home watching a spooky movie and passing out candy to the youngsters knocking at the door. Everytime I had to go out into the porch to the door, I had a nervous feeling about what I might find when looked through the window. It was always an adorable young kid in a cute costume UNTIL that one knock came and I went to the door and looked out the window too see a scary mask looking back at me. I totally freaked, screamed and ran back inside and hid under the covers. I could hear someone laughing outside and knocking on the door but couldn't find the courage to go back out there. The next day Mike came to the door with this huge smile on his face explaining that it was him pulling one of his numerous pranks on me.

We wish you had been there with us...

There have been so many events throughout the years that we wished you could have celebrated with us. These are only a small handful.

My college graduation...just a couple of years after you passed away. (Chris never went through his ceremony.)

Even before this, Mom took us to Mazatlan...and we all went parasailing. I know you would've jumped at the chance to do that! Then maybe Chris wouldn't have made me go first!

You were noticeably gone from this family photo...along with Grandma Hardie. She passed away just two years after you did. She said many, MANY rosaries for you, my brother!
A couple of years after Chris and I were out of college, Grandpa Hardie took the whole family on a cruise. (I'll have to dig up a picture from that trip.) You would have had fun watching Grandpa play black jack. He still played two hands going at once at 85+ years old!

My wedding. You would really like Joe. Everybody does! He treats me like a queen, and he (like you) talks more than Chris and Dad! I met him a month after your funeral.

Here are all of your nieces and nephews! I've told them lots of stories about you! Knowing how much you loved playing with little kids and holding babies, I know you would've liked to have a bunch of kids also.

Here they are now. You know I named my Mikey after you? (Don't mention this to Uncle Michael though.) My Mikey even looks like you, doesn't he? I think Jimmer has more of your personality though. He likes mischief!

Chris has a lot of fun playing with my kiddos, but he could have used a little uncle help from you...more than once!

Remember when you lived with Connie and Steve--when Connie was expecting a baby? Well, here's the baby you had fun holding that year--Courtney (& Ben) on her wedding day in 2004. I know you would have loved witnessing that celebration!

Your Godmother, Aunt "Mayno", even got married a couple of years ago. See her in the black top? John, her husband, has on the green tie. They first dated in high school...probably around the time you were born.

Chris, Joe, Tony and Uncle Gary sure could have used your help on the bocce ball court at our family reunion last year at Steve and Connie's. Tony probably would've appreciated your help with teaching our kids how to play pool, ping pong, and Wii. He had his hands full!

We miss you, Mike!